shitbowl
The algorithmically powered
in-home physical caching platform
Our journey.
In the summer of 2016, my girlfriend and I received a gift that started a revolution in the world of in-home physical caching. To her, it was an antique blown-glass display piece. To me, it was and always will be shitbowl.
How it works.
The shitbowl platform runs on an elegant LRU (Least Recently Used) caching system meaning the items you most need are always at hand.
Rapid real-time LRU caching of physical artefacts
Simply insert your frequently used small items - keys, wallet, office swipe -into the platform and the LRU sorting algorithm will ensure that whichever item you used last will remain near the top, while those you haven’t thought about in ages (the Least Recently Used) are consigned to the bottom.
The shitbowl platform in action
More than a display piece.
To say shitbowl is just a bowl is like saying uber is just a massive network of economically exploited gig workers or wework is just overpriced office space for plaid-wearing freelancers.
A proprietary platform, shitbowl represents the translation of decades of computer science discoveries in information storage into the domain of physical artefact caching. Infinitely scalable, the platform acts to reduce mental load for users and consequently enhance cognitive performance across the board.
Easy on the environment.
shitbowl uses natural processing to achieve highly efficient item sorting without drawing on the power grid. At all.
Our platform has achieved a zero carbon footprint rating and is a certified B Corp*.
*Bowl Corporation.
Our collection.
Every shitbowl is personal. If you’re going to trust a bowl to cradle your shit, it needs to feel right. Below is our intimate collection of custom shitbowls. Orders are by enquiry only.
Blown glass. You can’t have mine, but I will find you one that’s just as good for putting shit in.
Ceramic. Not for me to be honest. Looks like something a Swedish person might buy?
The bachelor bowl. You get to eat the ice cream inside before use. Please note, Dessertalicious flavour no longer exists and I will never forgive TipTop for that.
Our privacy pledge
When you choose to cache your items via our shitbowl platform, you do so in confidence. That’s because from the moment you take delivery, we guarantee a completely closed system. That means no centralised servers, no backdoor access for federal agencies, and no unwitting sale of your usage habits to third parties.
